The Guide & Me
by FurRealz
Summary: I first met Noah Puckerman in one of those moments of pure serendipity when two complete strangers find themselves doing the same thing. In our case it was in an airport lounge, sitting side by side, both on our way Los Angeles and both reading the same book; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.


Chapter One: When You Said Goodbye

Finn looked me directly in the eyes. "We need to talk."

A simple four word sentence, dreaded by many a woman and was responsible for sending many into a wailing blubbering mess curled up in the fetal position on the sofa, tub of ice cream in hand while Colin Firth gets his shirt wet in _Pride & Prejudice_. Me? Well I couldn't be happier these words were spilling out of Finn's mouth. I hadn't been happy for quite some time, but I didn't have the heart to break up with him.

"Oh really? What about?" That's right Berry play it cool, conceal your happiness it's not welcome here.

"Well Rach, I think we've changed, drifted apart so to speak" he began and there was a truly awkward pause. What he really meant is 'You've turned into a heinous bitch and if I have you around any longer I'll probably turn into an axe murderer', well at least he phrased it nicely. He spoke again. "It's not you, it's me." Oh how sweet the cliché is, really makes it easier.

"Is this the moment you break up with me?" I made my voice crack and made my eyes well up with tears - I am an actress after all, making people believe what they want to is how I make my living.

"Well…" He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck and looks to his feet. "Yeah." He mumbles and shuffles his feet, looking every bit the man child he is.

"I thought everything was going so well." I pretended to choke up while Finn looked on like a wounded puppy. "I thought you were going to propose. Did you not see the bridal magazines everywhere? I even booked a venue! I won't get my deposit back now." Okay, so maybe I gave Finn the nudge into the break up sector, sue me.

"That's the problem," he practically yelled out in frustration. "You're borderline psychotic with all this wedding crap. I don't want to marry you." I froze. That genuinely hurt, I know I pushed things a little far to get him to leave me, but still that was brutal.

"Wow Finn, I thought we had something special. How can you throw away our future?" I let out a big heaping sob. Good Berry, being all desperado will keep him running.

"I just feel like we need some time apart." Those are the words he spoke but what I really heard was 'back off you psycho cow, I now fear for my life'. I'm not going to lie, it made me strangely happy.

"So there is still a chance for us?"

"Uh…" He hesitated. "We could be friends." Ha, I practically came up with that line.

"Friends?" Jesus, does he really think I'm buying his bullshit?

"Sure. I could do friends." He smiled at me, lopsided and goofy, his smile looked almost cartoonish.

"I could do a lot of things, crack for example but that is generally frowned upon." Did I really just say that? Oh God. I just have to embarrass myself.

"What are you saying?" His look of confusion would have been cute if it wasn't the look he was always sporting.

"What I'm saying is shove your friend's bullshit right up your ass." Okay, I may be a little mad at him, this situation is completely my fault but I did love him at some point.

"Wow Rachel calm your tits." He thrust his hands out into a defensive position like I was going to attack him.

"Calm my tits? Calm my tits? You're breaking up with me remember" Finn always did forget the important things, birthdays, anniversaries, bills, food shopping, Hanukah… Yeah he's a real keeper, have at him ladies.

"You're over reacting." That was the problem, I was always over reacting, or so he said. That annoyed me to no end.

"No, overreacting would be me kneeing you right in the sack." I warned him. He should have really known better, we'd only been together three years after all.

"Oh, well thank God you're not overreacting then…" He just had to tempt fate didn't he? I thrust my knee back slammed it right into balls. He fell to the ground groaning in pain, a smirk emerged on my face.

"Oops spoke to soon."

"Gah, bitch," He ground out, cupping his balls and lamenting the possibility that he may never be able to procreate from then on.

"So long and thanks for all the fish asshole." Yes, I am that girl, truly I am. "Oh, and please say 'hi' to Quinn for me next time you see her, in her, around her… Whatever comes first really." In that moment all I could think was 'Finn, want some water for that burn?'He didn't know I knew. Idiot.

With that I picked up my hand bag, slung it over my shoulder and made a dramatic exit from Finn's dreary, overpriced studio apartment. I made sure the slam the door extra hard just to piss him of.

I know what you're thinking. I do. In my defence Finn really was an incredible asshole that deserved to be messed with. Cheaters never prosper after all. But this isn't about him, really, I just figured this would lend a nice backdrop to my story. This isn't the story of poor heartbroken me.

No this is the story of how I, Rachel Barbara Berry finally got my shit together, met the man of my dreams and lived the best life anybody could have imagined.

As strange as it sounds my story begins with a book; not just any book but _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy._

I first met Noah Puckerman in one of those moments of pure serendipity when two complete strangers find themselves doing the same thing. In our case it was in an airport lounge, sitting side by side, both on our way Los Angeles and both reading the same book; _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_.

But I'll get to that later.

First I must get back to the point when I was storming dramatically out of Finn's apartment because all good stories start with dramatics after all.

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**AN: Let me know if this is worth continuing. I have the story mapped out and everything. Chapters will be short because I'm in my final year of high school and don't have a lot of type for writing. Please review.**


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